Thursday, 14 May 2020

Each And Every Star

Oh, my dear, my darling
Come close, I'll keep you safe. 
No need to fear. 
You've spent too many sleepless nights 
Wondering what's there and what's next 
The whole world bundled up tight 
Close to bursting, packed 
Inside that head of yours. 
Come here, come close
I'll keep you warm;
A secure embrace. 

There's so much out there, little one.
More than any of us can comprehend. 
But you're young, aren't you 
You try anyway, destined to fail. 
Oh, I've been there child 
I know your pain, I know
This awful loss you feel. 
There's no control for us I fear, 
Trapped in the tide coming in and going out 

So let me tell you a secret. 
We fear it all cause there's too much to know
So, so much, it's not worth trying to grasp it all;
But you can reach out, you can feel some. 
Hold a flower, feel the river flowing past
Calm, detached, full of wonder
That's the world too.
And it's okay to be afraid;
And it's okay to seek shelter
From such a great and terrible storm. 

The storm is part of us, I think. 
Part of our souls, if those exist. 
I can feel it, in my heart and in my bones. 
The storm comes - the rain of anguish, 
Thundering shouts and wicked lightning strikes
And I can feel it in me;
Deep, reflected. 
Like all this suffering and fear, 
All a part of me too. 

And when I was a little older than you,
I slipped down to the sea
at the mouth of a great river
to watch the waves wash against 
the sand and stone and concrete;
Feel its coolness against
The tips of my fingers - 
So tiny against the backdrop of all. 

Oh, I've seen waves so tall they crest sea walls, 
Ten metres or more, pushing over, 
Covering the land with water, 
Salt and air - streets filled with sea. 
The ocean is so great and vast 
And so weak and small as to slip 
Between my fingers on a hot summer day, 
When no tide can stop me. 

I've lived by seas and by rivers 
By ancient fens and ancient flows 
Water is all I - all you - are. 
What I drink and what I eat
And what I sweat and piss and breathe. 
Part of this system so old, so timeless. 

And the Earth, well, she precedes us all. 
Her tides and molten heart
And Her trees and beasts that
Walk and eat and build. 
And before Her, the stars, 
Older than we can imagine. 
The Earth in all Her majesty, 
Just scattered parts of once great wholes;
It, like us all, children of the cosmos. 
Nothing but star stuff. 

And you feel it, right? 
Feel the beingness in your heart - 
Aching, consuming, twisting. 
It comforts me, anyway. 
When all I've said and done is past 
When the reaper comes all dressed in black 
And holds my hand, so kind
To walk, passing into the abyss 
Leaving but my being behind. 
That precious thing;
To feed the worms and feed the sun
Once before and now again, dust - 
Fragments of the universe. 
And that's me out there, part of me
And what comes next, that's me too. 
There, shining so bright, millenia away;
All of them, that's me - and you
Each and every star. 

Oh child, 
See the rain out the window,
Listen to its sounds. 
I'll rock you to sleep, don't fret. 
You're safe, secure. 
Nothing can hurt you here. 

Tuesday, 12 May 2020

Last Breath (redux)

As fists upon a bed of grass,
Fell heaven's hateful shards of glass;
Anguished cries and flashes so bright 
(tremble trees in terrible fright). 
A hunter crouched - bright blade drawn out, 
And with it cut, precise, no doubt. 

Out first the gut (laid on the ground), 
The heart and flesh making no sound. 
Spear the lung to mirror disgust, 
Then roast upon this flame he's struck
Only to cry at least defeat 
As cold draws out each breath of heat. 
Then forced within this cloak of skin
To lie awake, regret his sins
And cast his name into the breeze - 
At last it comes, his death he sees. 

Afraid he goes, the man now conquered 
And the wind blows forth, ever onward. 

Wednesday, 6 May 2020

A Prayer For The Darkness

O deep pit,
Swallow whole the offerings of my soul
That I have laid before you 
O consume me, deep darkness, consume me

O twisted pit, 
Steal fast the secrets I hold and the stories I hide 
And know the vast shadow within me
O consume me, twisted thing, consume me

O wicked pit, 
Corrupt my heart and my mind with your wretched words 
Which sow the seeds of chaos 
O consume me, wicked whisperer, consume me

O hungry pit, 
Devour the food I give, the lost relics and remnants
These most precious parts of myself
O consume me, hungry hollow, consume me

O you ancient, nameless horrors
O deep darkness, swallow me
O twisted thing, steal me 
O wicked whisperer, corrupt me
O hungry hollow, devour me
O creatures of the abyss, consume me all and make me whole

Friday, 10 April 2020

It

I can feel it
Just beyond my reach
Around the corner
I look about
But it is nowhere to be found

I can feel it pouncing
Grasping
Clawing
Nails outstretched
Stabbing in and holding there

I can feel it dragging me down
Pulling down so hard
It wants to bring me down
Reduce me to nothing
I cry out in pain
And no one sees
it there, clawing in further

I scream but I am silent
It feeds thereon
It wants more
Leaving me helpless
Defenseless
Motionless

I am still
I am calm
I am a storm
I am empty

The Whole World Is Holy

The whole world is holy
Each and every thing
Divinity in every corner
Every nook and every cranny
Filled with the infinite

You can feel it sometimes
leaking through
When the whole world
Seems to glow.
Just moments,
of endless, endless beauty


Under Starry Sky

Down
Down
Down
Under starry sky
Lie on the grass bed calm
And watch the night go by

Lie in comfort my dearest child
Leave your mind free to fly
Take the heavens in full embrace
And do not fear the dark

Tuesday, 7 April 2020

Let There Be Light

Soft piano notes, 
The whistle of a friend, 
Harmonica and flute and drums and the distance between us becomes nought. 
We stand here at the edge of a universe 
A star dies. 
We toast marshmallows and we tell stories and we laugh and we cry 
Alone but together in the forest at the end of time. 
The twang of a banjo. 
Then silence. 
And then, 
Everything 
Sheer immensity 
I am every one and every thing 
Every speck of dust and every star in the sky
Every unturned rock and every trail not taken
I am it all
I am the light that shines 
The darkness that engulfs 
The rivers that run and the grass that grows and the rain that falls and the sands that flow 
I am every word ever spoken, every tear ever cried, every fear and passion and love and hate 
I am the trees and the dirt 
The mountains and the lakes
The deserts and the jungles and the frozen wastes
I am fire and I am flame and I am endless 
I am time and self and I. am. it. all. 
Everything glows
in the brilliance of existence 
and I bask in its glory. 
I let it overwhelm me. 
As everything, 
Every person, creature, stone and star 
Plummet into the vast emptiness of the void
I stand here as the universe dies 
And I am alive. And I am not alone. 
There's something coming, creeping over the horizon. 
And to those that come next
Unto you I give the world