It's 5am
And you're hungry
And you've somehow managed to stay up this late again
And you just want to sleep
You just desperately want to sleep
But your stomach hurts and no matter how much you lie there and no matter how much you try to ignore it there's no way you're getting to sleep
So you're hungry
And you need to eat
But eating is hard.
What is there to eat?
Need to cook a whole meal or just have toast again but you've eaten toast twice a day every day for a week and you're way past being sick of it and even though you know you're going to just eat it eventually you're trying to put it off as long as possible and
Fuck
Why does being hungry hurt
Why can't you sleep
You pick up your phone
Scroll through discord
Try to build up the effort to make something
Write a poem
Text a friend
Whatever
You're still hungry
You're still tired
It still hurts
Fuck.
Wednesday, 25 November 2020
5am
Thursday, 27 August 2020
breasts
Friday, 31 July 2020
The Longest Day
When all the world begins to stir
And Rooster announces his fanfare
Bright light rushes to fill the leys
Then a crackling of power in the air
The wind blows just ever kinder
The rain just a tad more soft
And the trees hold their leaves aloft
Songbird sings her sweet reminder
And the lasses grin, working the croft
For the birds cry strong on the rolling moor
Telling days of the lost, ancient lore
Ah yes, there was magic in the land before
And now, at last, it's come once more
Must we pity the dead?
Must we pity the dead?
must we envy them?
a woman lies awake at night
brittle cold on a bed of stone
waiting waiting and
the stars shine down upon her
I sing a dream to the pit some nights
It knows death, knows horror
and i ask it each night
Must we fear death?
and it rumbles, low, in answer
looking up at the stars I watch them die
watch flares become supernova
dust flies through the thick of night
through the dead of night
like a ghost
laying a trail made of light
Wednesday, 29 July 2020
booster
cw: suicide
i spent dawn awake
lying in bed thinking of you
astrobrite playing on my shitty,
crappy phone speakers
tinny, scratching
scott cortez makes me wanna cry
i’ll tell you one day, i’m sure
sitting on my window sill on the third floor
wondering if it opens wide
enough for me to squeeze through
how it’ll feel when i hit the floor
how long it’ll take for me to die
for the gardeners to find my body
or some unlucky undergrad walking home
you’ll never know how often i’ve stopped
over these metal railings and stared
into the depths
and wanted to climb over and let
this sack of meat hit the floor
blood on steel
supercrush my soul
dawn comes like a potent doom
wind, flow, mood low
the world’s scream
i’ll survive this night
and the next
and the next
but i’ll never escape
deep wounds don’t heal